There’s a certain point where it doesn’t matter whether or not I wear heels. I’m tall. Chances are extremely high that I’ll be the tallest woman at the concert, party, club, store, gym, mall… you get the idea. The question then becomes, not “Should I wear heels?” but instead, “How much taller than everyone else do I want to be?” And honestly, it comes down to how I feel that day, it’s as simple as that.

When I’m out with friends and it’s loud, there is a 99% chance that I can’t hear what they’re saying. Not because I don’t care, or because I have ADD, or because there’s an amazingly cute guy across the bar, but because they are so much shorter than I am, and they speak at their own level. While they might have to struggle to hear each other, they can make it happen. For me to hear them and even pretend to be part of the conversation, I have a few different options:

1. Practice my squats (awkward)
2. Practice my lunges (more awkward)
3. Do the sideways hunch/lean/bend to try to move my head closer to theirs. This one is all in the head and back. It isn’t pretty and usually results in someone asking me if I’m okay.
4. Slouch down so I’m on their conversation level. This is uncomfortable after a while and really, no one looks attractive like this.
5. Give up talking to your friends and smile at people around the room/bar/show, etc. You can also give up, opting for not smiling and appearing aloof.
6. Become irritated and remind your friends you can’t hear them. Maybe they’ll talk louder so you can hear as well.
7. Find a chair (if possible) and drag your friends over to it so hopefully you can sit and be closer to their level, or at least the level that puts in the range of possible conversation.
8. Leave. You don’t need this, you came out to be with your friends and now they’re essentially ignoring you, or worse, relegating you to the role of “bouncer” to keep unwanted guys away from them with your scary hunch.
9. Bring step-stools for your friends so they’re closer to your level. (This doesn’t usually go over well and it’s hard to get step-stools into bars.

Personally, I’ve tried at least options 1-6. I’ve never just left, but I have asked for them to speak up so I can join in the group. I forgot the last (and my favorite) option:

10. Find some amazing and fun tall friends to hang out with as well so you’re not alone in towering over the heads of your less-tall friends.

There’s a time and place for most of these options. I have yet to find the elegant solution that avoids towering, looming, hunching, bending, or any of the other unattractive verbs you can think of.  When none of my tall friends are around, I usually opt for standing tall and smiling/aloofness because it’s easiest. At the end of the day, I’m out with my friends. I’ll take that extra drink or two and get us started on our next fun adventure.